clearing lust to clear addiction

lust is not love

lust is disconnected and self serving

its power hungry and in domination of said energy that it is lusting over

it can be anything, power, money.. you lust for something you deeply crave

love is connection and reciprocity

it heals

lust is uncontrolled, its strong and it’s unpredictable

so its an impulse to dominate, to take control of

its gunna feel really good when i get this

and so you act on a lusty impulse or temptation - usually with no remorse for the others feelings due to intensity

its a deep desire

its also instant gratification lol

can cause a lot of harm and damage and carnage in your path

and i have learnt this from my life

any thing you do, be prepared for it to come back around

like it will come back

its a universal law

lol

and when we encounter these darker energies or okay ill rephrase

denser energies

like these energies have sat and stewed for years, and sometimes generations and so theyre dense with shit around them

and im still trying to understand what im exaclty trying to convey here lol

but we have to have experience in them

or else were dealing with shadow energies within ourselves and are projecting out from us when it actually is perpetuated from within us

so this is all happening like within and we are attracting this energy to us because we are putting ourselves in those circumstances to experience said event lol

okay

so we will sometimes catch the emotion and the reaction

but the desire comes before the explosion lol it starts as a little greeting

and it grows, and its an addiction cycle

so youre in a relationship

and i guess ill say me, just because its less accusatory lol

i start cheating

so i start cheating because i am lusting for more energy - whatever that desire is that im not recieving elsewhere

im lusting for that little missing piece

its like i want that

and so the desire builds, and it grows and it festers until it starts acting out in very dark ways because its hidden, it doesnt want to be seen - this desire

it could be shameful or linked to smething our midns are not abnle to comprehend but we still crave

or its like were with someone because of convenience not because of love

or were starving ourselevs from love lol like so many things and its personalized to you

and the desire gets so strong that the impulse far outweighs the consequences and the thing happens

because we arent paying attention to what is being brewed under the surface that we are ignoring

and so when you do that that creates a new loop

like its a choice and that has an effect

cause and effect

and so we usually get caught up after that

feelings happen

blaming

lack of self awareness

and its like this thing where it will continue to perpetuate

but we forget that the REASON why this happened in the first place is because of a missing piece

becuase we havent dealt with that desire inside that caused this whole thing to be created

that little piece is still asking for this desire - so we get it from somewhere else usally with shit that like doesnt actually satisfy

but what we are doing is were chasing

and we are chasing that lust

but what that lust actually is

is the desire

desire that has grown so intesne and deep within us that it turns dark, its like a molding piece of something, just festers because this need is not being cared for

its a devil energy / lust

its like dark because of neglect - begging sourly for attention lol

and it might be something thats totally different from what we expect it could be like

this person is pushing against me i want to destroy them

or

i wanna be ravaged by a sexy lumberjack in a cozy cabin in the woods lol

or YOU wanna do the ravaging too

i would even say those are pretty surface level,

where as going deeper with meditation can bring you back to the exact moment of it occuring you see

lol so thats like a huge pet peeve of mine is like this fucking surface level im tired i didnt sleep enough

lol like fuck off

it is way deeper, you got shit going on that you aint dealing with lol

if we look deeper theres usually an experience and trauma from chidhood that was hurt and if you think of the same way that a owie lol on your body heals, thats kinda what it does in the energy field except instead of healing its like an energetic succubus for shit to get caught in and fucken turned and twisted - storylines and identities, beliefs and ways of being

and so it attaches all this shit onto this wound, and im picturing like a matrix and its moving and the little orbs are like clinging onto this big lump lol

and it grows, and if we dont unpack our baggage we just carry it

it starts to feel normal

it feels like its who we are

but a lot of it isnt

and its just a core wound which is ours,

but the shit around it the beliefs, baggage and shit that attached to it because it wasnt healed or felt and witnessed that isnt ours

thats the like succubus energy, its like i need i need because it doesnt want to feel the pain right, so its like a crying whining thing that just sucks all the energy and yeah

like

you know

everyones different

gotta figure yourself out

and thats like with jealousy too

and jealousy is just a long line of unattentive unawareness

its admiration with no outlet

but we dont allow ourselves to think it or feel it and it festers too

or it is learnt

or it was never told to us

it is something that in our personal journey we find out the answrrs to

and when we do that gives AWARENESS and awareness equals POWAAAAA

lol we have the POWWWAAAAAAA

lol

so learning these things where we can actually like take our power back and see okay what is this emotion trying to tell me

or even on a bigger scale lol

like our patterns - why do i keep attracting this type of person, why do i feel like i always have to look behind me, why cant i trust anyone? well its inside lol

or

like frick why do i feel so low

well when you start feeling low figure out if you can see where thats coming from

and i aint talking oh i didnt get enough sleep last night

like look within

what are your emotions telling you

you can see the masks and the bandaids and shit weve put on top of all these core needs

and might i add society or what its been has not done any service whatsoever towards accepting ouside norms so its not an easy process at times to truly acceot these desires

but yeah

theres all this talk about narcs and empaths and i agree with both but ive also been both

lol

ive alkso been the shitty person and the angel

you know

so its like to see that thats alchemy

and i think righ tnow is a time in life where a lot of people are getting that awareness and its pluto in aquarius in tropical astrology from what i believe

but yeah watching the veils drop

and seeing people for who they truly are on the insid

its kinda funny to see how it can be so confusing

but yeah dark energies

we all have them

and they usually are just cute little monsters wanting some attention

remember to not judge yourself

number one rule with energy healing

if you even want it to work

first of all you have to believe in it

and second you have to be in the energy of the heart and that is unconditional love and that means complete accpetance

so youre not gunna learn shit about yourself if your constantly judging

and its layered right

we come back around and its something new or see something new and it really does like go with the astrological waves, we just go with the earth and the cycles and we make it work and things are good

and lol its just what it is

but you can also do the hard stuff and evolve and make this life like bad ass af

its pretty crazy

llife

i like it sometimes lol other times i scream lol

xx