bpd

weird place to be

kinda feels vacant

i sense around

it feels barren

was it my fauly all along

or did i cleanse the pallet

im lost

and then i feel fine again

fearing even speaking about my life

or else i might get thrown in a mental institution

lol

dang thats old

i love myself through it anyways, the fear and wonder

bring more love in

more love

more

love

love myself fully

more love

even more love in

bring all the love in

i feel like i push everyone away

but i also feel like everyone is out to get me

like i cant trust anyone

but then i feel like i do have this and i can accomplish this

its like 2 separate people

one scared shitless

one can take on the world

i dont understand

its like am i breaking down right now or being rebuilt i cant tell

im scared i feel alone

kinda like no one around who gets me

or i dont vibe with anyone becaus ethey all feel weird

none of them feel like me

just in a period of waiting

lots of shame

i wanna leave but im trapped and i dont let anyone in

i just wanna be alone with my dog forever

because i hate people

i think theyre all rude assholes

i think they all can fuck right off

not all but most only when i feel slighted

not good with that stuff

i dont even know what i should be doing right now

im just floating in space with no plan

maybe thats exactly where im supposed to be