being in the flow of life

the ups and downs of life can make things feel all over the place

thinking that life should be one way is the anchor

that makes these ups and downs feel like theyre not aprt of the journey

its cool to be coming into a new way of being

this irreversible shift

it feels like i dont feel completely stable

but that adds to the excitement

excitement being the same feeling as nerves

learning in what that is

seeing what makes me nervous

and excited

learning myself on a deeper level

lol

its kinda like what the fuck

who is this person lol

but shes new

and shes fun and someone i feel really connected to

someone who i protect and guard with my heart

with my soul

shes kinda like a bad ass lol

and i didnt really realize this person was not who i was

but this energy shift of this distorted energy leaving me

or transforming

what i once thought was the only way to be

the only way forwards

this abundant mindset shifting into something that really

resonates

feels good

i still notice these holds

obvioulsy

these feelings of oh no what happens if i completely let go

and then the wide open kinda opens up again and i feel like its gunna be okay

the tunnel vision of what my mind has been

this codependency

this trauma

allowing it to open up

realizing that these parts of self are parts that are meant to be honoured

i feel like she is someone who has the world at her feet

and that is something that i now get to create

from my heart

fully and completely into something that i wont have to hide from

because i know her fully

i hold her and respect her

and thats a really great feeling

this venus retrograde has been really helpful

healing

wholesome

and life keeps guiding me in these ways that allow me to open up more

to the universe

to what can be created

really blessed

really cool

thankful